alexandra grey.

Everything is getting so hard to deal with and my will to keep going is getting weaker and weaker as the days go on.

Just bought my ticket.
$300 out of my pocket but I’m so excited.
This is going to be amazing.

Trey Emmert, you’re my baby. You make me so happy. Just seeing you puts the biggest smile on my face, even if I’m in the worst mood. We are going to be perfect together. I know it (: Just having you in my life brightens up my day..or my world. You have been the best thing for me. We’re going to be so happy, well..we already are. And I’m crazy about you boy.
4.8.12

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” ― Marilyn Monroe

I realized that you’re a piece of shit. I wish you could still be the boy I knew a year ago, but you aren’t. Not even close. You said I’ve changed, but I’m still recognizable, no one knows who the fuck you are anymore. If you want to surround yourself with people who won’t give a fuck about you a year from now then go ahead. It’s sad really. Oh, and everyone wants to say I’m crazy in the head, it’s probably because over the past year you’ve pushed me over the edge. I wish everyone could see who you really are. But they don’t know you and your true colors will eventually come out. It took enough mental abuse for me to finally crack.
BUT, on a littler note. With you gone I’m doing amazing in school, I have all the time in the world to hang out with my real friends, I have MONEY, and I’m so much happier. I’ve moved on to a guy who is perfect in every single way, so there’s one thing I’d like to say.. This post is one big fuck you, cause you are insignificant to this world and will never go anywhere with your life with the path you lead. Have a wonderful life being a pathetic broke loser (:

It’ll all change now. Instead of adding to your stress, I’m going to be the one right by your side telling you everything will be okay. I’ll be all the support you need when you need it. I won’t..CAN’T fight with you anymore, because losing you would have been the biggest mistake of my life. I promise I will be there for you when you need me, and I’ll stay away when you need to be alone. Just know that I’m here for you baby. I love you so much and I couldn’t imagine losing you. You’re so amazing baby. Saturday will be a great reunion. I swear (:

Well, I’d like to say one thing. I’m an incredibly generous person and no, not just with money because I can’t just throw it out. But I would do anything for another person who needed my help. I’ve gone out of my way for some of you. And did I EVER once get a thank you? No. I didn’t. I tried to be there for you and support you like a real friend would but nope. Fuck it. Although, I can say when someone does something foul to me, I always do get them back somehow. I’ll admit I talk shit, just like EVERYONE does. But I only talk shit about annoying ass people that get on my nerves or truly piss me off. I was sick of people walking all over me like I had doormat syndrome, so I’m terribly sorry if I’m not as nice as I used to be. But no one can turn shit around and say that I’m a backstabber. I would never steal or lie to the people I fucking care about. Unlike you.
And this message isn’t directed towards one person. It’s to every stupid, lying mother fucker that EVER claimed to be my friend, then stabbed me in the back and made me look like I’m the fucking asshole.
Well I’m not standing for it anymore. I don’t do anything wrong to anyone. But since you want to call me a bitch, I’ll show you a bitch.

We go through ups and downs. Sometimes I know we can’t stand each other, but I know we’ll always love each other. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened me. I would never do something to fuck up our relationship. We have more than most “couples” pretend to have. You mean so much to me. I don’t know what I would do without you. You are my baby, and I love you so much. Words could never describe it.
&&
I don’t ever want anyone to come between us. A lot of people run their mouths and spread shit when they only know half the story or don’t know any of it. So fuck them. They don’t know us. They don’t understand shit. I may not be perfect but I would never do something to deceive the ones I love. Especially you. I love you.

Bottom line.

I love you more than I could ever explain. Every little problem we have doesn’t matter because we always make it all better. I trust you with my whole heart. And despite what ANYONE says I’d never do something that would hurt you. Why would I do something that would risk ruining our relationship. I have everything I need in you. No one, and I mean no one knows anything about our relationship. We may vent to our friends when we’re in a fight, but they still aren’t in our relationship. So they can stop acting like they are. You are mine, and I am all yours. I’m happy knowing that no matter how hard anyone tries they can’t break us up. No one can change the way we feel about each other. I trust you, and I know you trust me. Thank god I have you Chad.

We may go through some ruts. We get stuck from time to time in the same place not moving any further.. But I’m so happy we’re together, because we go together so easily. Things keep getting better. I’m lucky you’re willing to take the time to work things out with me for us. I’m lucky I have you in general. You are so wonderful. 9 months now, let’s try to go for another..or forever (:
I love you Chad Downing.

Tu eres mi mundo.